Love for the game: Fantasy teams- Celebrities

Fantasy leagues are played by sports fans everywhere. They choose their teams from a pool of players, salary and logic no bar, and pit them against other fantasy teams. Wonder if this team beats Team Pandavs.

PG

Ekta Kapoor:

Pros:

- Great at flops. Beats Vlade Divac at flopping. No higher compliment playable to a flopper.





Cons:

- Inflexible mindset. Only adheres to the old tried and tested plays.

- Will only play for Coach Krezsewski, provided he puts the following players on the floor with her:

Kosta Koufos, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett and Kevin Johnson.

- After every single shot/dribble/pass/rebound/play, will pause and stare unflinchingly at the players, coaches, referees, mascots, cheerleaders, crowd members, and everyone else in the vicinity. This renders fastbreaks impossible and 24 second violations inevitable. Also leads to numerous other violations such as 3 in the key, 8 second backcourt, etc.


Pictured: Unflinching stare



SG

Salman Khan:

Pros:

- Strong player. Can lift the entire team on his back. Literally.

Cons:

- Stays on the perimeter. Only drives in the lane when drunk. When he does drive, he will run over anyone in the lane. Does not make too much of an effort to avoid collisions.

- Suspected paranoia. Claims to be wanted by someone.

- Has shown an unusual propensity to take off his shirt at the slightest provocation/every basket made or attempted/ every whistle blown. This constitutes a technical foul.

- His shooting seems to be directed towards the mascot rather than the basket.


What'd I do?



SF

Aamir Khan

Pros:

- Very versatile and creative with the ball. Deeply committed to winning.

Cons:

- Can’t be pigeonholed. Plays all positions and roles. Even takes over coaching during timeouts.

- Won’t settle for easy shots. Even when left open.

- Has the entire playbook tattooed on various parts of his body. Needs to refresh his memory of them every five minutes. Most of these plays are visible to the other team also.

PF

Shahrukh Khan:

Pros:

- Has coaching experience, which helps on the court.

- Has had a very successful career

Cons:

- Absolutely convinced that there are 6 guys on floor at a time. Insists on calling his team a ‘pack’.

- His nickname in English is already taken by LeBron James.

- Insists on playing with retro uniforms.


Lakers wore retro shorts as a tribute to the legands. For two quarters. Reported mutiny in the locker room at halftime resulted in them reverting to regular uniforms. (citation needed)



C

Amitabh Bachhan:

Pros:

- Tall. Good for rebounding and post defense.

- Great at acting. Can easily pursuade referees into making favourable calls for his team.

Cons:

-Old and injury prone.

- Young at heart. Old in body. Still tries to score like he is a 20 something guy.

Disclaimer:

I grew up in the 90’s. Don’t remember every moment of it, but whenever I watch some of their movies, it brings back memories long forgotten. I associate most of their movies with pleasant times and it brings back a childish feeling of optimism. Respect those guys to no end. They are doing a lot of good with their outspoken attitude and charities.

This stuff is just light hearted humour with no disrespect intended. (Ekta Kapoor excluded)